continued...

So John's points were several. He first asked if I had considered if I was wrong and my parents were right. I said, of course, I considered it. He seemed to think that I was in outright rebellion. He really never seemed to be intent on hearing my story. He simply wanted to lecture me on what he thought was important--that I was wrong in being with my girlfriend, and that I was wrong by being counseled by people in my church (since they were false prophets), and finally he attempted to evaluate my spiritual life.

When he started asking questions, I immediately said, I would answer them, but that I wanted to ask him some questions. He seemed to be surprised. He thought that I would take the simple Asian route and be submissive. I would have, except that they had slandered and maligned the one that I loved. And unfairly didn't let her even defend herself. When he suggested that my parents might be right, I questioned how could they give their approval, but later change? What was it that happened that changed their minds? And whatever it was, could it be washed by the blood of Christ, was Jesus death on the cross not enough to forgive that sin? If it was indeed a sin...

He responded by saying that they made a mistake in giving their approval. I told him that in this process of arranging my marriage, and then attempting to sabatoge the planned marriage, they called her disobedient, and said that she had the Spirit of Jezebel. I said if these allegations were true, I wouldn't marry her. I suggested that we go and find out about her, and see if indeed these things were true. At the very least, if they were, we should notify her pastor and let him know what kind of woman was in their congregation. At this point, I would like to say that in the twenty months that I have known my girlfriend, I have spoken to her friends. Met people from her church, and seen her family. I can testify that she is absolutely not like this. She has been unfairly treated. It is just like The Scarlet Letter, except that my girlfriend's "sin" is that of not avoiding the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22). We haven't had sex! Of course, sin is sin, but to be dragged through the coals for this sin? And just like in the book by Nathaniel Hawthorne, the man (me!) is not held accountable at all!

John then brought up her former pastor, and said that he had said some damaging things. I told him that I went up to meet him and that he wouldn't meet me. He told me to make an appointment. He wouldn't even spend 5 minutes addressing why I drove up to meet him. I then told John if I came to his apartment and saw his coffee table and spent all my time looking at it. I would describe only the coffee table if people aske about John's apartment. Yet someone else could come and see the bedrooms, kitchen, the books, etc. And their view would completely differ from mine, yet theirs would be just as accurate, though more complete. I tried to get him to see that even if her former pastor was correct, that it wasn't a complete and true picture of my girlfriend. (I don't even know what he said or what the pastor thinks...but perhaps I should go and meet him...or should I let it go?). In the end, John said that I was very intelligent and he made veiled references to pride. I also told him, I have exams to study for and that I didn't have time to go and meet more and more people about this. I have "explained" my position to more than 10 people, to satisfy my parents. Yet none of those 10 people are in the picture right now. I told John I am willing to meet with anyone, anywhere, anytime, yet when I asked him to meet my pastor, he was very hesitant.

John seemed to draw a line and make a point that my family was very important. Even more than my church. And he made this point, or tried to, by attacking my Bible study, and my church. I think he was suprised that it didn't turn out at all the way he anticipated. But the Spirit of the Lord was upon me, and I made some good arguments. But more than that we have told the truth so there are no surprises. The truth shall set you free (John 8:32). Whereas my parents, have left gaps in the story. I really feel bad, and don't want them to look bad. So I will just focus and finding God's will.

Well tomorrow (actually today), I will meet with my Pastor--a meeting scheduled before I even sat down and talked things over with John. It just shows God's faithfulness. As I stressed to John, if this relationship is not God's will, we will end it. And we have prayed that the Lord would show us the truth, and show all involved the truth.