Super Bowl Sunday

A few months ago, my girlfriend and I spoke to my pastor. One of the things he told us was to discuss our dreams, our plans our hopes, fears, etc. We tried it once, maybe twice, but never did again. And whenever I talk to someone about my girlfriend and our plans of marriage, they always mention how communication is so important.

Last week, I was sick again. As usual, something happens and I wait anxiously, hoping it is something mild and limited. This time it was somewhat mild. But with my past medical history, things can deteriorate rapidly. Part of the problem is that I have had very bad reactions to many medications, so the things I can take are limited. My girlfriend had been really busy over the past few weeks. And when I was sick, I didn't want her to worry so I didn't tell her much. But then I felt the whole stress of the sickness on myself. If I told my parents, they would make a big fuss, if I went to see her. So no one really knew the extent of the illness, and although I didn't look bad, I felt terrible. In the middle of all this, she had a male friend from church, mention how he wanted her to share her writings with him. In order for him to perhaps set them to music or find someone to do that. I was really upset. For me, as an amateur musician, I know how music reflects the heart. How it really is an expression of the soul. And in the midst of my sickeness, carrying that burden, and not knowing what was about to happen--either resolution in short time, or yet another admission to the hospital--I became upset. I was angry because, she didn't care, she wanted to share something personal with another man, and she was so busy doing so many things, I couldn't tell her what was happening in my life.

Things were bad for a few days, and we were to meet on Super Bowl Sunday. I decided to go and meet and be open. We met and talked and shared fears and concerns. And then we saw our love for each other. It was truly amazing. I didn't have faith that God was in control. I didn't need to be heavy-handed. At the time when I thought she was too busy, I didn't need to come down on her. Why? Because on Sunday, someone else, lovingly told her to consider cutting back on her activities. She then told me more of her heart regarding her writings. And was willing not to speak to that guy at church. But knowing her heart and having trust in her...I don't mind anymore. She then started looking up my condition and trying to understand me.

I didn't need to make any ultimatums, I didn't need to do anything. I needed to stay still and wait on God. He will see me through. Sickness, health, happiness and sorrow. God is in control, you can realize it if you step back and watch your life unfold from day to day, and let Him take control. If I made an ultimatum, we would have fought severely or taken a break or done something rash. Instead we went deeper into each other. Our love has found yet another level.