Shocker Number Three

So my parents are ok with it. And "Allen" and my other friend were both going to go and help me buy the ring. I wanted to get it done. No reason to delay. At least the ring would be on her finger and I could study for my last exam. How exciting! Of course, before buying the ring, I would talk to her dad about it. And my parents, as well...

Meanwhile, I hadn't had my Remicade since the end of last year. I had problems with my insurance and hadn't gotten it reinstated. I finally got things settled, but I feel great. Why should I go through the Remicade if I feel fine? And the fistula had closed as well! I have to accept that as God's healing. But I will have to wait and see...

That is a major decision to make. And my parents are both having health issues as well. So I have to help them out. My mom just had a surgery and my dad is having one as well. In addition I have to take my exam this summer. I cannot postpone any longer. And...and...my car died and I had to fix it myself to save money. So I ordered the part and it took a week to come in! And when it came in my mom was recovering from surgery and we were driving to and from the hospital and rehabilitation place. So with that and work and studies there was no time. I was using my bicycle to commute and getting dropped off if it rained. And the studies weren't going well because I couldn't get to the library. Well fortunately all these things worked out fine and my car is running well and back on the road. My mom is doing well and in well on her way to recovery.

During this time, I called her and told her that I felt neglected and lonely. To be fair, she was pretty busy herself. She was and is involved with many things. And she was seriously pursuing a job change. After much thought she declined the job offer and stayed with her current company. And she had also joined another church group and they were sponsoring a speaker whom she had invited to speak. So she was very busy doing that. All I wanted was just for her to listen to me and hear what was going on. I patiently listened when she was considering the job offer, and I drove up there to support her when her dad had his surgery (which was very major). I did the right thing. And I also did the right thing to tell her how I felt. Which was the truth. All I wanted was to hear from her was something like, "What can I do?"

Instead she got upset at me and said that she lives far away and I can't expect certain things from her. And she stopped calling me. She stopped talking. Everytime I called she was abrupt and was acting distant. I started to do the same.

Finally the speaker came and the event occurred. So I decided to call her and ask how it went. She was very abrupt and cold. I asked her what was going on. She said that I shouldn't be living with my parents. She said that I should have passed my exam by now. And a lot of other things were said including that my views on her talking to other men was ridiculous.

I told her that she agreed to that, we made several agreements, one being that we would have a "say" on friends of the opposite sex. I have put my foot down on occasion, yet have not on other occasions. The conversation ended.

Two days later, she was still acting strange. Distant and cold. We had exchanged email passwords a long long time ago. Every now and then I would get in her box to see what someone had emailed her, for example a Pastor's wife emailed her (I supported her in that as well), and she would want my opinion. Since she wasn't talking to me, I was getting really worried. What was going on?

So I started checking her email again. I saw an email from one of her older women friends that I knew. It said something regarding me, saying that she should tell me gently and ease a certain piece of news upon me. I was stunned, although I felt something coming, and I knew it wasn't good. I called her right away and told her I read this. She was upset at me. She was angry. She said I shouldn't have done that, and I asked her why she gave me her password to begin with? She said I got it all wrong. I asked her to explain. I don't remember much of what followed. I think I was in shock. But I knew I needed to study and I couldn't put up with this anymore. Emotional highs and lows. Incredible. She said she was confused and we had planned to meet and talk about it. But I discovered the email. And so she told me she didn't know if she wanted to marry me. She said that God had some plans for her and they didn't seem to fit in with mine. She couldn't imagine being a doctor's wife. She needed time to think it over. I told her to give me time to study unhindered for my exam. So we are taking a two-month break. And I said lets just break up. Completely. And if we are the ones for each other we will definitely get back together.

Finally...an answer...

I haven't written because things have been going really well for me. Life has been great. So that is why I haven't blogged. When things are good, you don't blog. At least that is the case for me!

An offshoot of my Church Bible study is a Men's morning time of prayer and sharing. It started with me needing an accountability partner (at her request). Another man wished to join, so it was the three of us, for the past few months. This other man, lets call him Allen, actually had met my parents before. So Allen and I started going to church together. He would come to my home to pick me up for church. He was always early and I always late. So he would come in and chat with my parents. One Sunday I awoke to get ready, and as I was about to take a shower, I heard my parents arguing. So I came down to see what was going on.

My mom (who has been unable to drive due to health reasons) wanted to visit my sister but for some reason (stubborness?), my dad was resisting. By the time I came down he had changed his mind. But now, the stubborn pendulum had swung the other way, and my mom didn't want to go anymore. (Incidentally, I have lots of flaws and stubborness is one of them!). So I offered to drive my mom, but I said that Allen was coming to take me to church. Then my dad said he would go to church with Allen! So Allen showed up and there I was unshaven and in my pajamas (not actually pajamas, but sweatpants and a T shirt). He didn't seem surprised to see me. And when we suggested that my dad would go in my place to church, Allen was fine with it. So with the switch complete, I went with my mom to my sister's place and my dad went to my church with Allen.

We had a great time with my sister, we went out to eat and hung out and my mom seemed pretty happy.

Later on I found out that my dad and Allen had a great time together. Of course, my parents didn't say a thing about that. I had to find out from Allen. And then Allen told me that he brought up the subject of my marriage and the woman I have been seeing for three years. And my dad said that they were fine with it and that they didn't mind us getting married!

Shocker number one.

A couple of weeks later, I was at work and my parents called Allen. It was early evening a little after 7 pm and they asked him if he would come over. Normally he wouldn't go out that late, as he sleeps somewhat early, but he went over to my house (yes, I still live at home with my parents). Then my parents prayed with him and prayed for my girlfriend by name that we would get married, and get married soon!

Shocker number two.

This was amazing and a true answer to prayer. I was waiting for my parents to approve and they finally did. I was doing this because the Bible clearly says to honor your parents. So finally honoring them had paid off! After three years of waiting... you know, she had only been to my house one time. And she had only met my parents twice, the first time was the day we met, and the second time was at our house. She hadn't seen or spoken to my parents in three years! At their choice. And she was still standing by me. She was still waiting for me. What a woman! how many people would wait like that? Not many. Yet another reason to love her.

When I called her and told her, she was doubtful. She just didn't believe, but she said that time would tell if my parents were being genuine. And yet even though they agreed there were no overtures on their part to reconcile the relationship or to start communication. She must still be hurt, I could see that. But this is a major step forward and an answer to prayer from many people. The next step was to get a ring, take my final exam, and talk to her father and then propose in a crazy, shocking, off-beat way to show her my love (I don't have much money for the ring so the proposal will have to carry the weight of my love rather than the carats!).

To show you how strange my mind is. Above, when I wrote the word pajama, my mind started moving (I know, she is saying FINALLY!). I was thinking about how we always have seen children with pajamas, and they still wear them. And even the adults used to wear pajamas as well. I remember watching "I Love Lucy" and "The Christmas Carol" and seeing them wearing pajamas. But now no adults wear pajamas anymore at least not on television. And at home? Perhaps some wear sweatpants but no PJs. So why is that the case? I think because television dictates our lives. And vice versa. Television and life parallel each other. And instead of Desi and Lucy putting on pajamas and laying in beds exactly 36 inches apart (or whatever it was), now we see what people do in and out of bed! So the pajama has fallen by the way and replaced with lingerie.