Study to show thyself approved

Well, it looks as if my parents have finally given up. They have stopped talking about her and now are allowing me to study in peace. Of course, it looks as if my mom is ignoring me now. At least, she is not conversing with me unless absolutely necessary. I am not sure why. She must be feeling hurt or upset. But what can I do. She really brought this on herself. I also feel that she is at a dead-end. She can't allow me to marry my girl without going back on some of the things she said. And she can't face people and allow them to see she was wrong.

But in all this I see the past repeating itself. My mom doesn't get along with any of her in-laws. None of them like her. I don't think it is because they are against my mom, I just think that she doesn't like any of them because they threaten her. I wish my mom would just learn to let go. In her fear and jealousy, she looks as if she is a control-freak and doesn't want to lose control no matter what. I hope that by taking a stand on my girl (I think I need to give her an anonymous name--perhaps Aida, and I will be Radames), by taking a stand with Aida and letting all know that we will get married--God willing. My parents will be able to accept this and to move on with their lives. She is such a wonderful woman that I am sure that she will be the BEST in-law in the family. I know it! I am happy just thinking about it. All the other in-laws hold grudges and hate and gossip. She will never be like that. I am proud of her.

On Sunday I went to an Indian-Christian Meeting at Aida's place. It was really good. Aida danced to a song. A better word is interpretive drama/dance. It was really good, she has an ability to act and she knows what she is doing. I once read about an actor (actually the guy who played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings) and he was saying that the major thing in acting is the eyes. Where they go, what they do and how powerful a statement they make. Well in Aida's dance, I could see the eyes, especially at the end. They capped off the dance and made a statement as she longingly and expectantly looked into the skies at her Maker and Creator. What a beautiful act of worship. Unfortunately, many people hear the word dance and think the worst (I used to be this way). But this is not lewd in any way, this was something that was wonderful and an act of worship.

I was proud and tears welled up in my eyes as I saw her dance. She was beautiful and I felt proud to be there and support her and make a stand. There were many Indians that I met and they all seemed happy to see and to meet me.

A Few Feet Away

There is a girl from Texas who is just a few feet away from me. She is in the next room. My parents picked her and a friend up from the airport. And now she is in the next room, sleeping. If she is awake, she probably thinks I am sleeping, but here I am at 3 am awake.

My parents made this plan to bring this Texas girl for me to meet, and perhaps marry. Of course, they made the plans and then, after all the plane tickets were bought, they came to me to tell me. I told them no. I was not going to meet anyone. I am in love with my girl and I will not meet anyone else. So they were pretty upset. And so was I. How am I supposed to study when I have to balance this with my girl. And then think of how I should avoid the Texas girl. But I have to show some civility. She is also a human being that feels. I asked my parents if I could call her up and tell her that I am involved with someone else. My parents didn't feel that was a good idea.

So nothing was done. Friday morning, I woke up to find that my parents were gone. Then the phone rang. It was the Texas girl's girlfriend. They were at the airport waiting for my parents. My parents didn't have a cell phone. So I told them to sit and wait. My parents would arrive. After a few minutes, I called my girl. Here was my chance to tell the Texas girl's girlfriend what was really going on. So I called back, and briefly explained the matter.

I said that I didn't know why they were coming, but my mom had wedding plans on her mind. I also explained that I didn't know what they were thinking, but I was in love with someone else. And that someone else was chosen by my parents. And that it would not be fair to anyone involved to meet. She understood and stressed that they would be there just to visit for the weekend. There were no other intentions. I was relieved. But at the same time I felt some empathy towards the Texas girl.

So if I see them, and I probably will--I will be friendly, but I will remain neutral in the presence of my parents. They would definitely get the wrong idea if I showed a hint of happiness. They would interpret a smile as "lowe." (That is the way many indians pronounce the word "love.").

So now I will sleep and dream of the one who is 160 miles away, and the one who is 16 feet away will have to wait for someone else. Not that she is interested in me. She probably isn't. Which would make things a lot easier.

Most of the time in life, people are afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of changes. But when it comes to love, to women, why are people ready to take such chances? Why do they leave wives and family--to run after their passions? Why do they take risks, and almost always regret it?

The Beauty of Indian Culture

Indian arranged marriages are joy. Two strangers entrust their lives to their respective parents and are joined together by marriage. It is the joining of two families. It works great in India, the woman (or girl) is "given" to the man's family. She is relegated to cooking and cleaning and domestic duties. Of course, in modern Indian families, it is entirely different. In these cases, the woman, usually highly educated, is permitted to work and earn money and be independent. Well, as long as she is at work, but when she comes home, she has to cook and clean.

I have done all my parents have asked of me but now they are sidestepping the issue of whether the one that I love, is the one for me. The latest is that they are inviting someone else to the house to meet me for the purpose of marriage. This girl is from Texas. They made the plans, bought the plane tickets, and then they tell me one week in advance. If I agree to meet the new girl, the Texas girl, then they will pressure me to marry her. If I don't marry this Texas girl they will say forever and ever that I made a mistake, and that mistake will have a name and a face.

And what about my girl that I love. What about her? Why would they avoid the issue? When they say they will never agree to allow me to marry the one I love, then what is the outcome of meeting the Texas Girl? They have shown no signs of compromise. What is the guarantee that if I meet this Texas girl, that they will allow me to marry who I choose? There is no guarantee, so I won't meet the Texas girl. I have to honor my parents, but I am supposed to leave my parents and cleave to the one I marry. I have to start somewhere, sometime, and that time is now.