Things have been uneventful since my last post. That is not to say that things haven't been going well, they have been going extremely well, so I guess the lack of newsworthy items is a good thing. Today, I really wanted to tell her something, but she is kind of busy, and has a lot of other stuff going on. I really don't know if I should tell her or not. If I do it might make her feel guilty, that she is not spending time with me. Yet on the other hand, this is nothing crucial, it is just some feelings and needs and things of that sort.

One of the things that is truly precious is that we do long for each other now. When it is time to say goodbye on the phone, we hesitate to leave. I must say I have always hesitated, but she is beginning to now also. Even now, when I spoke to her and we said we shouldn't meet, almost immediately she emailed me back saying that she really wants to meet. Inside of her is this desire to be with me. When I see her, she seems normal, calm. But then after talking to her for sometime, I begin to realize that she is overflowing with emotion and passion.

How can people look so calm on the outside and have all this intensity within? We walk by people on the street, and things seem so quiet, so calm. But who knows what they are enduring inside of them? I imagine much of it is despair and sadness. I can say that judging from the use of antidepressants in the US. Consider how many people are using them, or going for therapy. Even all those using drugs and alcohol. These often forms of escape. A way to avoid reality. But why is reality so bad? I look at life in other countries. Many want to come to the US (even if they say they don't), or at least they want the level of prosperity that is there in the USA. It looks as though people might be poorer elsewhere, but happier there.
Then you wonder the things we do to get happiness. All the work and effort. And we usually fail. What is the point of it all? This is when I know there must be a God. How can we live and die and disappear? Why do we have feelings and consciences, and love. Why do lower forms of life not have these things? I have no answers, except to say there must be a God.