Well it has been an interesting weekend. First of all, on Friday night, I believe, we had another fight. OK, this was the second one. It was also about an ex. I guess. Who knows what it was truly about, and who really cares. The point is that neither of us wanted to give in. So everything is off. We are breaking up. I don't know what to do with this stupid blog now. OK I am kidding it is not off! But we did have a fight and I was telling her that I didn't like this ex, and him calling her. And I started yelling, and losing my temper. And then past things were brought up and it was a mess. I threatened that we shouldn't talk for a month, or that we should take a break. Well, she knows, that there is NO WAY, I could make it without her for that long, and that what we fought about was nothing important. It was just two egos clashing. We both have strong egos. One of us has to submit. And most of the time it will be her. I know some people might think that is not fair. But the point is I don't have a problem with submission, and I am the leader. There are things which I will give in, but overall, someone needs to take charge. And since we both believe in the Bible, we will use that as our outline, and as the model for our relationship. It doesn't mean that I am the master that she is the slave, but that there needs to be a leader, and yet we can be equals, and listen and care for each other. Having arguments is good, because it shows our weaknesses. And shows that we can reconcile, and can work through problems.

So then on Saturday we met. We had to. After that terrible feeling, not that we fought but that we should be with each other to just feel loved by each other...we had to meet. So we met at a library which was half way. And we studied, and talked a bit and studied some more. It was truly wonderful. She just hugged me, and told me she loved me. It sounds so simple, so plain. But I knew with confidence, that moment, that this was love I had never experienced before. The depth of it was amazing. I had opened up to her previously, which I never had to anyone before. I Was a sitting duck, ready to be hurt or broken, and in return was this expression of love, a simple one, that opened up a place deep in my soul, that I never knew existed. Look, I am not a teenager, but a man, who thought he knew everything. I am pretty wise and intellegent. But she is showing me love, not in a physical sense, but a spiritual, unselfish, unconditional love. This is a love that creates security, and trust, that builds up, that is not just an emotional thrill, but a lasting commitment.

There is probably an element of infatuation here. We haven't known each other THAT long. But that is being replaced with a meaningful commitment that is accompanied by love. I realize I am not the greatest writer, but I hope at least what I am saying is clear.

Well another amazing thing is that her parents and mine as well, seem to be accepting our relationship and it looks as if they will give it their blessing. I always thought that if God wanted us to marry, he would bless it, there should be backing from God, and from our families, and friends. People should see that this is something from God. And it looks as if they are. IT is amazing.