Hiatus


Today I asked my parents if I could visit her. They wouldn't allow it and everything started over again. So I called her and thought she would be disappointed. She wasn't. She still had faith. I am just numb, depressed, and angry. Most of it is directed at my parents, the anger, that is. She asked me where is my faith? I don't know where it is. Is this the will of God? I thought so. I still do. I told my parents that I gave up the will of God for their happiness. That didn't seem to bother them at all. I guess that shows what they think of my spiritual life.

So she said that perhaps we should take a break. No contact at all until September 1st. I told myself if she asked for a break one more time, I would make her take it. So, I agreed. Grudgingly at first, but on further thought, I suppose it would be a good idea. Let us pray. Let us seek the will of God. Let us see what God has in store. It really can't hurt, and it is going nowhere right now. Some people have given us counsel that we should take a break, and so we will. I still think it is wrong for us to end it, but we haven't. We have just said that we will take a break. I have told her, as my parents wished, that I won't marry her. But I can't stop loving her. That is not possible. Not right now. So I will even stop this blog until September 1st, so that even this can't be a form of communication. This is very tough, and whatever God has for me, I will accept. If God wants us to get married, He has to change my parents minds. If not, I don't know what I will do. I suppose another thing I have to do is start talking to my parents, part of the reason I am not is anger, and the other part is hurt. They have hurt me deeply at a critical stage in my life. It is hard to forgive, and maybe that is what I need to do in order for God to give me back the love of my life. So let's see what happens on September 1st.

See you then.